Alone at the grave

It is important to find the good in even the worst situations. That is especially true in my line of work, dealing with the forgotten in society. A month ago, I had the privilege of being the only person at the funeral for a man in his 70s who died all alone. He had never married, and his only sibling has a disability and is living in Arizona.

I say this was a privilege. Besides performing the mitzvah of burying this man, I was able to look around the cemetery and learn something about his life. As I previously wrote, many of our clients come to us without a full history. Here, we didn't know his Hebrew name or his parents' Hebrew names. But at the cemetery, he was buried next to his parents, and their stones revealed their names, and enough information to have an educated guess for his Hebrew name.

That person who we buried though had to have had some special merits to him. His funeral was paid for by the staff at a hospital where he volunteered. They ensured he was buried next to his parents. He had all of the proper ritual preparations performed prior to his burial. The necessary prayers were said at the funeral. This man must have done some positive things in his life that put into motion the sequence of events leading up to his burial.

We are all put in situations where we ask ourselves, "how did I get here?" Standing alone at the grave site, I asked myself that question. Why is it that I have been put in the situation of ensuring that every Jew receives a proper and dignified burial and funeral? I don't have an answer to this question, but I do know that I am a better person because of it.

If you want to gain perspective about life, about our friends, our family, go to the cemetery and walk around. Look at the stones. See when people died; were they young or old? Did they have family? A spouse? A child? I defy you to leave the cemetery the same as when you entered. You will have been transformed by the experience, and will truly appreciate your life's situation so much more for it.