Oskar Schindler's Gravesite

According to a recent report on The Yeshiva World, the grave of Oskar Schindler, who is buried in a Catholic Cemetery in the old city of Jerusalem, has been neglected. This is a sad story, that the Righteous Gentile's grave, who saved so many from Hitler's wrath, has been ignored.

Oskar Schindler was a wealthy person. He obviously was able to arrange to be buried in Jerusalem. He obviously has the well wishes of the entire Jewish people. If such a person's grave can be neglected after death, what hope is there for people who died poor, anonymously, without any fanfare?

The Hebrew Free Burial Association is devoted to preventing this from happening. Every Jew deserves a proper Jewish burial. Every Jew deserves a grave that is cared for. HFBA's Leave Your Mark campaign has marked over 15,000 previously unmarked graves. We care for the graves, making sure they are treated with respect.

The other lesson from this story is that of HaKaras HaTov, acknowledging the good that has been done for us. Hopefully, someone in Israel, an organization, the government, someone, will respond to this story, and ensure that such an honorable person's burial site is also treated with honor and respect.

AIRHOGS TO GIVE AWAY FREE FUNERAL

Grand Prairie, TX (06.02.08) – The Grand Prairie AirHogs Professional Baseball team will be offering one lucky (or unlucky!) fan a free funeral as part of a promotion on Tuesday, June 3. All expenses will be covered by the Chapel of Roses Funeral Home and Oak Grove Memorial Gardens, both located in Irving, TX....

Some of the in-game-festivities will include: pallbearer races, mummy wrapping, eulogy deliveries, and much more! Fans are encouraged to wear black to the game.
(Click here for story)

When I read this story, I wasn't sure whether to laugh or to cry. When I take groups to Silver Lake Cemetery to help clean, I always stress to them the importance of what they're doing and tell them that a certain level of seriousness is required. And I always conclude by saying, "you're at a cemetery, and not playing ball."

The promotion of a funeral home at a baseball game is an example of the lack of fences in society today. Koheles teaches us "Lakol Zeman VaEis - for everything, there is a time and a season." There is a time for baseball, and times for funerals. Merging them together, even for fake funerals, is a mockery of the practice. You wouldn't want to see a hot dog vendor at a cemetery.

There is a time and a place for fun and promotions. I think though we need to make sure that what is promoted is consistent with the event. Funerals and baseball? Not a winning combination.

Memorial Day at Mount Richmond Cemetery

Fannie Kaplan - Part Three

As I previously posted, last Thursday, the 12th grade from Solomon Schechter School of Westchester High School came to Mount Richmond Cemetery to pay their respects to Fannie Kaplan. I've posted some of the pictures from the outing here.

Joseph Silverman, great nephew of Fannie Kaplan, saying Mizmor L'Dovid (Psalm 23) by her grave

Rabbi Shmuel Plafker, HFBA's Cemetery Chaplain, reciting Keil Maleh by her grave

Fannie Kaplan Revisited

Last January, I posted the video and story of Fannie Kaplan. This week, the story has taken a fascinating new twist. To see the video, please visit my previous post here.

The Story of Fannie Kaplan

On December 5, 1928, twenty month old Fannie Kaplan succumbed to spinal meningitis. Her immigrant parents couldn’t afford a grave for their little girl, so the Hebrew Free Burial Association arranged for Fannie’s burial at Mount Richmond Cemetery on Staten Island.

Fast forward to June 18, 1991. Among the first graves to be marked as part of HFBA’s Leave Your Mark campaign, were 75 graves of children. The next day, Bernard Kaplan happened to buy a NY Post at his local newsstand. An article about the ceremony was on page 23. The article began,

“Little Fannie Kaplan died more than 60 years ago, but her grave – and those of 74 other poor, long-dead Jewish children – was not marked with a headstone until yesterday.”

Bernard couldn’t believe it. He knew he had a sister buried in Staten Island, but never knew where. It was something that always bothered him. As he said,

“…when I read the paper, and I see a stone being placed, and next to the stone it says "Fannie Kaplan" I said this is quite a miracle. This is something I'm searching for 60 years, and to never find out where my sister was buried. This was really a miracle. It took me 60 years to find my sister.”

Last week, HFBA received an e-mail from Claire Silverman. The Solomon Schechter School of Westchester High School, where her son is a student, was scheduled to visit Mount Richmond Cemetery.

“[My son’s] great Aunt, I believe, is buried in Mt. Richmond, she is my father's sister and she died when she was two years old. Would you please let me know if they are going to this cemetery, there is an interesting history behind all of this.”

Her father Bernard Kaplan had once mentioned that he had a sister Fannie buried at Mount Richmond Cemetery. Numerous e-mails were exchanged back and forth, everyone in shock about the circumstances.

Tomorrow, the Solomon Schechter School of Westchester High School is going to Mount Richmond Cemetery, for what is sure to be an extremely touching moment, when little Fannie Kaplan’s grave is visited by her great-nephew, all because she was treated with such dignity and respect when she passed away, more than 60 years later, and another 17 years after that.

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Follow up, click here for pictures from the outing.

Blogging Again

My apologies for my extended blogging hiatus. With Pesach now well out of the rear view mirror, I hope to resume posting on a somewhat more frequent basis.

The Funeral and Shiva as One

Recently I've been struggling with the question of how to eulogize someone who wasn't a model citizen. What do you say that will be a comfort to the deceased, his family, and friends, while at the same time, not lying about who the person was?

After giving this question much thought, I've realized that it must be understood by all in attendance that the funeral, and the eulogies, is only the beginning of the mourning process, and is supposed to act as a springboard for the week of shiva to further remember the individual and discuss his life. It is extremely difficult for a eulogy, under any circumstances, to fully capture the essence of a person. More time, and discussion is needed.

When someone dies whose life wasn't one harmonious unit, whose life was filled with struggle, it is difficult to satisfy all who knew him. Some people remember a person who was lively and loved learning and singing, while those who knew him when he dies, remember someone who wasn't observant at all. In this situation, it is important that different portraits of the individual emerge at the funeral. They are not a lie or contradiction. They are all part of a greater mosaic, a story with chapters of complexity.

The week of shiva offers the opportunity to create perspective, and for the friends and family to discuss the person who they knew. Each guest will have a different perspective of the deceased; and for them, that is what they can talk about, to help themselves and the mourners heal.

When someone dies, emotions reign supreme over the intellect. Sometimes, in the rush to arrange a funeral, not enough time or thought goes into a eulogy. Or emotions cause people to hear things that were said one way in a different manner, or even to hear things that weren't said. That is why it is important to consider the funeral as only the first step in the mourning process. And the week of shiva is a continuum, where there is time to think about the deceased, and about the eulogies, and to hopefully put everything into a perspective that will help each person heal accordingly.