Don't Cremate

A recent article on msnbc.com asked the question, "Did Winehouse's funeral violate Jewish law?"  The answer sadly is that since Amy Winehouse was cremated, that was a violation of Jewish law and tradition.  Our bodies were born into this earth whole, and when we pass, they are to be returned to the earth whole as well.

What can we do to prevent more cremations from occurring?  The most important thing is to let our wishes be known, preferably in a legal document, that when we pass away, we want to be buried and not cremated.  Then, we need to discuss our choice with others, and let them know that we hold burial to be sacred.  Engage friends who may not know that cremation is against Jewish law.  Tell your children that cremation is wrong.

There is much work to be done on this front, but it is important to take sad stories in the news, and use them as teachable moments in the fight against cremation.

Triangle Shirtwaist Factory Fire

On March 1, HFBA remembered the 22 victims of the Triangle Shirtwaist Factory Fire who were buried in Mount Richmond Cemetery.  A moving video was produced of the event which can be seen below.

To read media accounts of the ceremony, please visit http://www.hebrewfreeburial.org/TriangleFire.htm

On March 25, we're holding another ceremony, to coincide with the anniversary of the fire.

Cemetery Clean-Up Project FAQ

Q:  What is the Cemetery Clean-Up Project?

A:  HFBA established the Cemetery Clean-Up Project to ensure that Silver Lake Cemetery, their first, is properly maintained.  Volunteers perform the mitzvah of chesed shel emet, doing a kindness that cannot be repaid, helping maintain the cemetery.

Q:  What do the volunteers do?

A:  Volunteers rake leaves, clear downed branches, and remove other debris from the cemetery.

Q:  I’m concerned about my children being in a cemetery.  Should I be?

A:  Not at all.  Another by product of the Cemetery Clean-Up Project is to properly educate students about Jewish burial rites, in an age appropriate manner.  We teach students that cemeteries are not intrinsically scary places, and that our history needs to be remembered and respected.  Over 1,000 volunteers participate each year in the program, with ages ranging from two years old to the mid nineties.

Q:  What supplies are needed?

A:  HFBA provides gloves, rakes, and bags.  If you wish to bring your own additional supplies, you are welcome to do so.

Q:  Where can I learn more about the Hebrew Free Burial Association and the Cemetery Clean-Up Project?

A:  Please visit our website, www.hebrewfreeburial.org to learn more.  You can watch our short video, as well as visit the volunteer section on the site.

Blessing Said at a Cemetery

The following blessing is said when one hasn't seen a Jewish grave in the past thirty days.

ברוך אתה יהוה, אלהנו מלך העולם, אשר יצר אתכם בדין, וזן וכלכל אתכם בדין, והמית אתכם בדין, ויודע מספר כלכם בדין, והוא עתיד להחיותכם ולקים אתכם בדין. ברוך אתה יהוה, מחיה המתים

Blessed are You, Hashem, our God, King of the universe, Who fashioned you with justice, nourished and sustained you with justice, took your lives with justice, knows the sum total of all of you with justice, and will restore and resuscitate you with judgement.  Blessed are You, Who resuscitates the dead.

אתה גבור לעולם אדני, מחיה מתים אתה רב להושיע. מכלכל חיים בחסד, מחיה מתים ברחמים רבים, סומך נופלים, ורופא חולים, ומתיר אסורים, ומקים אמונתו לישני עפר. מי כמוך בעל גבורות, ומי דומה לך, מלך ממית ומחיה, ומצמיח ישועה. ונאמן  אתה להחיות מתים 

You are eternally mighty, my Lord, the Resuscitator of the dead are You; abundantly able to save.  He sustains the living with kindness, resuscitates the dead with abundant mercy, supports the fallen, heals the sick, releases the confined, and maintains His faith to those asleep in the dust.  Who is like You, O Master of mighty deeds, and who is comparable to You, O King Who causes death and restores life and makes salvation sprout.  And You are faithful to resuscitate the dead.

This translation is from The Funeral and Cemetery Handbook by Rabbi David Weinberger and Rabbi Jacob J. Schachter and published by Mesorah Publications, ltd.

Honor Guard

Last week, HFBA buried a veteran of the United States Navy.  The man passed away without any family of friends.  When the Public Administrator authorized us to perform the burial, they insisted that the man be accompanied by a Naval Honor Guard.

With volunteers in attendance to make the minyan, the funeral took place in 2 stages, first the naval honors followed by a traditional Jewish funeral.  For those in attendance it was an amazing sight, to see how much dignity and respect the Naval Officers showed the deceased.  It is a true lesson for all of us, and should inspire us to maintain proper respect and decorum at all funerals that we will attend.

         

An Excuse to Talk About Death

I've found that talking about death is a taboo subject.  People don't want to talk about it.  There is no easy way to bring it up.  This is problematic when family members or social workers want to discuss end of life issues with their loved ones or clients.  "How do we bring up death?"  is among the questions I'm most often asked.

"How do we bring up death?"

I suggest that people follow the news for clues.  When someone famous dies, a window is opened for a serious discussion about our own mortality.  Recently, there have been two examples that serve as examples.  Senator Robert C. Byrd from West Virginia and George Steinbrenner, owner of the New York Yankees.  Both were major public figures whose deaths were (and in Mr. Steinbrenner's case, are still) major media stories.  It is our job to create a conversation that will allow us to springboard towards our loved ones.

Michael Jackson's death last summer provided me with a great teaching moment for high school students.  It opened an avenue to discuss how the Jewish approach to a funeral and burial was so very different than what we saw on TV and read in the papers.  And I found that the students were able to relate to these differences.

An important note:  Every situation is unique and regardless how the conversation is brought up, it needs to be done sensitively and with undivided attention.  Blackberries and phones need to be turned off.  The person needs to feel that you're speaking with them out of love and concern, and not because you're "anxious to see them go" and are already onto the next task. 

Where's the party? Oh yeah, at the cemetery

My colleague forwarded me an interesting article (Wheat Ridge cemetery seeks to liven up with art, concerts) about a cemetery in Denver that is thinking outside of the box to bring visitors onto its grounds.  At Olinger Crown Hill Cemetery, events are planned that will transform the cemetery into an art gallery, a floral display, and even a wedding site.  As the article mentions: 

Cemeteries across the country are increasingly broadening their attractions beyond disposal of bodies to draw people past the wrought-iron gates.

I feel that this is a complex situation.  For far too long, cemeteries have been neglected, religious and secular.  Abandoned cemeteries are scattered throughout the world.  So on the surface, anything that will bring people into a cemetery should be a good thing.  There is a lot to learn in a cemetery, and it is worthwhile to visit one every so often, especially if one is visiting the graves of their ancestors.


However, a cemetery is a solemn place.  While I believe it is appropriate to have discussions or displays in a cemetery office, turning the cemetery proper into a gallery would be crossing a line.  It's essential that when visiting a cemetery and walking through the rows of graves, one's focus should be on the buried below.  Once the graves become the under card to the main event, then we do a disservice not only to those buried but to ourselves.  


As a society we need to remember and embrace the cemeteries of yesteryear.  But we should not do so at the expense of the sacredness of the ground.