Standing By Myself With Thousands By My Side

On Sunday June 30, I officiated at a funeral. And like all of the other funerals where I've officiated, I was alone with the grave diggers. And once the grave was filled in, and the diggers left, it was just me. While this is tragic, I had a tremendous realization at that exact moment, that I wasn't alone at all.

G-d was standing with me, giving me the strength to assist Him in escorting the deceased to the Next World. This person's deceased relatives were with me, welcoming their loved one. All the deceased at Mount Richmond Cemetery were there as well, in a special section of the next world, for those who suffered in this world. All the recipients of Meis Mitzvah were there as well.

When we perform a mitzvah, we're partnering with G-d. Our doing G-d's will is a manifestation of G-d's greatness in this world. And when a mitzvah is performed, those connected with it show up for the occasion, physically or meta-physically. They want to partner in glorifying G-d's name.

It's been said before but it bears repeating. When a person is buried by the Hebrew Free Burial Association, that person had to have some special merits to ensure they were taken care of. When someone dies, it is only through the good fortune of having an experienced social work, a compassionate landlord, a perceptive public administrator, that people come to us. So when a person is lowered into the ground in this world, the next world pays attention. "Who is this special person?" "I want to escort them as well."

So while I was standing by myself, I was standing with thousands, and more importantly, with G-d, performing his work. To paraphrase Pirkei Avos, "if not HFBA, then who?"

It Would Be Even Sadder...

In 1996, the NY Times wrote a profile about Rabbi Shmuel Plafker, the Cemetery Chaplain of the Hebrew Free Burial Association.

As he shoveled dirt onto the coffin, the rabbi [Rabbi Plafker] philosophized about his job. "This might be sad," he said, "but it would be even sadder if she had been sent to the potter's field."

This one line sums up the mission of HFBA. Our cases are tragic. Yet, something is right. Somewhere, our clients had a merit that ensured that they received a proper Jewish burial.

(To read the complete NY Times article, please click here)

Once You Pop You Can't Stop

Growing up, there was a great commercial for Pringles with the catchphrase, "Once you pop, you can't stop." The expression referred to popping open a can of Pringles. Unlike traditional potato chips, which were bag packaged, Pringles were dispensed in a cool can. I never gave thought to the Pringles Can until earlier this month when I saw the headline, The Man Buried in a Pringles Can.

Fredric Baur, the creator of the Pringles Can, wished for his ashes to be placed in a Pringles Can upon his death. As written in the aforementioned article

...when Frederic Baur died after a battle with Alzheimer's, Larry [his son] and his siblings stopped at Walgreen's for a burial can of Pringles on their way to the funeral home. "My siblings and I briefly debated what flavor to use," Baur says, "but I said, 'Look, we need to use the original.

Ignoring the Jewish view of cremation for a moment (for the record; against), we've become a society that belittles death and deceased. Solemn funerals are old fashioned. The trend now is for a custom casket, preferably one emblazoned with the deceased's favorite team's logo. Or a casket that when opened plays music from the deceased's favorite band. Or a can of Pringles (preferably Original Flavor).

A discussion needs to start about proper burial rites. Last week, I attended a Volunteer Conference for Baby Boomers. An elderly non-Jewish person came up to me and said,

When I die, I want a Jewish funeral. There's so much extra today that's ridiculous, and expensive. I just want a plain box and a plain service.

I'm not advocating Jewish burials for everyone, but I think people need to stop and recognize the waste in today's funeral market, as well as recognizing that despite the deceased's request, a Pringles Can is not a proper final resting place.

Lost in the Morgue

TRENTON -- City police acknowledged ... that missteps in paperwork caused the body of a woman to remain unidentified at the Mercer County morgue since 1999, even though detectives believed they knew who she was seven years ago.
(Click here to continue reading the full story)

This gross neglect of a human being, destined to languish in a morgue for nine years, is tragic. And while there have been discussion regarding the neglect from the morgue supervisors, the police department, and the medical examiner, i don't understand how for nine years, day after day, the morgue would operate, and no one noticed that the same space never became vacant?

I'm all for investigations into the bureaucratic failures that took place. But the reality is controlled not by bureaucrats but by the rank and file employees. They need to examine their job performance. Are they so detached from what they do that they fail to notice someone for nine years?

Or maybe it isn't their fault. Is it common for neglect to occur? What's the average time a body takes residence in a morgue? If a person remains unclaimed, where are they moved to? Under whose auspices? What care is given for religion? Do morgues employ Chaplains? These questions need to be answered, and if unsatisfactory, they need to be addressed and solutions found. Until then, what protections exist for a person arriving at the morgue today to ensure that they won't be left to depart for another nine years?

"G-d has me around for a reason—to win a funeral."

Click here for a follow up to the free funeral promotion at a minor league baseball game.

The money quote belongs to the winner who said, "I almost croaked many times. G-d has me around for a reason—to win a funeral."

The emotion here is sadness over the trivialization of all things serious.

Oskar Schindler's Gravesite

According to a recent report on The Yeshiva World, the grave of Oskar Schindler, who is buried in a Catholic Cemetery in the old city of Jerusalem, has been neglected. This is a sad story, that the Righteous Gentile's grave, who saved so many from Hitler's wrath, has been ignored.

Oskar Schindler was a wealthy person. He obviously was able to arrange to be buried in Jerusalem. He obviously has the well wishes of the entire Jewish people. If such a person's grave can be neglected after death, what hope is there for people who died poor, anonymously, without any fanfare?

The Hebrew Free Burial Association is devoted to preventing this from happening. Every Jew deserves a proper Jewish burial. Every Jew deserves a grave that is cared for. HFBA's Leave Your Mark campaign has marked over 15,000 previously unmarked graves. We care for the graves, making sure they are treated with respect.

The other lesson from this story is that of HaKaras HaTov, acknowledging the good that has been done for us. Hopefully, someone in Israel, an organization, the government, someone, will respond to this story, and ensure that such an honorable person's burial site is also treated with honor and respect.

AIRHOGS TO GIVE AWAY FREE FUNERAL

Grand Prairie, TX (06.02.08) – The Grand Prairie AirHogs Professional Baseball team will be offering one lucky (or unlucky!) fan a free funeral as part of a promotion on Tuesday, June 3. All expenses will be covered by the Chapel of Roses Funeral Home and Oak Grove Memorial Gardens, both located in Irving, TX....

Some of the in-game-festivities will include: pallbearer races, mummy wrapping, eulogy deliveries, and much more! Fans are encouraged to wear black to the game.
(Click here for story)

When I read this story, I wasn't sure whether to laugh or to cry. When I take groups to Silver Lake Cemetery to help clean, I always stress to them the importance of what they're doing and tell them that a certain level of seriousness is required. And I always conclude by saying, "you're at a cemetery, and not playing ball."

The promotion of a funeral home at a baseball game is an example of the lack of fences in society today. Koheles teaches us "Lakol Zeman VaEis - for everything, there is a time and a season." There is a time for baseball, and times for funerals. Merging them together, even for fake funerals, is a mockery of the practice. You wouldn't want to see a hot dog vendor at a cemetery.

There is a time and a place for fun and promotions. I think though we need to make sure that what is promoted is consistent with the event. Funerals and baseball? Not a winning combination.