Videos?

We're planning on a video blog series for 2010.  There are many topics to discuss.  Kaddish.  Cremation.  Keil Maleh.  Tachrichim (burial shrouds).

Is there a topic that you think we should cover?  Please let us know!

info@hebrewfreeburial.org

Thank you.

We need to bury 14% more people with 10% less money

As you've noticed, the Chesed Shel Emes blog has been neglected.  With an increased presence on Facebook and Twitter, the blog has lagged behind.  Hopefully, that will change, and the blogging will continue.

Let me start with this.

We have all been affected somehow by the economic downturn.  Goods and services cost more, and perhaps we're making less.  Unfortunately for HFBA, we've been hurt as well.  From two ends.

Our caseload is up 14% in 2009 over 2008.  And our 2008 caseload saw an 11% increase over 2007.  Meanwhile, our donations are down this year by 10%.

We need to bury 14% more people with 10% less money.  


Fortunately, we are up to the challenge.  We will bury over 300 people this year.  And we will be there for those who need us.  But we do need your help as well.  Please consider a donation to HFBA.  Partner with us in performing chesed shel emes so every Jew will receive a proper and dignified Jewish burial.

Parshat Chayei Sara Campaign

Every year, HFBA asks congregations to designate the Shabbat of Parshat Chayei Sara to raise awareness of our important mission. This year is no exception. What is an exception is however:

• In 2009, our caseload has increased by 15%
• Our donations are down during this economic downturn
• The need for our services is more crucial than ever

It is essential for HFBA to continue to provide funerals and burials for those who cannot afford it, as we have done for 120 years.

We are turning to our friends with the following request:

Please ask your Rabbis and Synagogue lay leaders to assist with our efforts. Include HFBA in the weekly sermon. Allow us to send you materials to display in your lobby. Arrange a group of volunteers to Silver Lake Cemetery.

We appreciate your support during these difficult economic times. If we can help you, please don't hesitate to call us at (212) 239-1662.

Hate Still Exists

Last year, in a post about the desecration of Jewish cemeteries, I wrote:

Our children need to be taught about the injustices of history. Whether it is the Holocaust, or the historical oppression of African-Americans in the United States, or the current genocide in Darfur, we need to teach and inform others about history.

Hate exists. We need to educate our children that hate is wrong. We need to educate ourselves about hatred throughout history. Otherwise, society is doomed to a continuance of hate and intolerance.

Yesterday was a sad reminder that hate shows no boundaries, not even age.  The mindless murder of Officer Stephen Tyrone Johns at the United States Holocaust Memorial Museum was made more shocking when it was revealed his killer was 88 years old.  Someone was so hateful, that they devoted their entire life to propagating that hate.

We need to reaffirm our commitment to eradicating hatred from the world.  And we need to teach our children to be tolerant of others.  We don't have to agree with everyone.  We're entitled to believe whatever we'd like.  But we can't confuse disagreement with hatred.  That is a very dangerous leap.

Officer Stephen Tyrone Johns served heroically, and gave his life standing up to hatred.  His memory should inspire us to continue the mission of the museum,  "to confront hatred, prevent genocide, promote human dignity, and strengthen democracy."

How is the Yahrzeit determined?

The yahrzeit is the anniversary of death according to the Hebrew calendar.  It is observed annually, by saying the kaddish prayer in shul, lighting a candle, and some have the custom of visiting the cemetery as well.  It is also a meritorious practice to give tzedakah (charity) as a merit for the deceased.

What information is needed to determine the yahrzeit? 

If the Hebrew date is known, then that is the yahrzeit.  If you don't know the Hebrew date, the yahrzeit could be calculated using the English date.  The full date is needed (month, day, and year). Time of death matters too.  The Hebrew date begins at sundown.  So it is necessary to know if the deceased passed away before or after sundown.  If its after, than the yahrzeit is on the next day.

The Hebrew Free Burial Association offers a yahrzeit reminder service.  If you would like to be reminded several weeks prior to the yahrzeit of a friend or loved one, please contact our office at (212) 239-1662 or info@hebrewfreeburial.org, and we'll establish the reminder service for you.

Click here for a free online utility that can convert the dates for you.

Hebrew Free Burial Association Community Chesed Day

Hebrew Free Burial Association Community Chesed Day

Join us this Sunday for our 3rd annual Community Chesed Day as we help clean, clear, and maintain our historic Silver Lake Cemetery.

For more information, or to sign up, please contact our office at (212) 239-1662.

Or sign up through Facebook at, http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=61205273860.

For more information about HFBA, please visit www.hebrewfreeburial.org

DATE: Sunday April 26

TIME: 12:00-2:00

LOCATION: Silver Lake Cemetery

926 Victory Boulevard

Staten Island, NY

Weather Permitting

Directions to

Silver Lake Cemetery

926 Victory Boulevard

Staten Island, NY 10301

From the Verazzano Bridge:

Staten Island Expressway (I-278 W)

Take exit 13 to Richmond Rd/Clove Rd

Bear right at Clove Rd

Turn right at Victory Blvd

Silver Lake Cemetery is on your right

From the Goethals Bridge:

Take Goethals Bridge to the Staten Island Expressway (I-278)

Take Exit 12, Todt Hill Road/Slosson Avenue

Turn Left onto Slosson Avenue

Turn Right onto Victory Boulevard

Silver Lake Cemetery is on your right

HFBA in the NY Times!

Yesterday's NY Times featured a full length story about the Hebrew Free Burial Association.

If you haven't read it yet, here's a link to the story.

On Staten Island, a Jewish Cemetery Where All Are Equals in Death

Where's Your Password

Several years ago, YAHOO came under scrutiny for not giving parents access to their deceased son's e-mail. Their son, a United States soldier, was killed in Iraq, and they hoped to retrieve his e-mails. YAHOO argued that giving the parents access would be in violation of their privacy policy. After negotiations, the parents eventually received access to their son's e-mails.

When putting together documents for my safety deposit box, this story came to mind. I decided to include a document with my user names, passwords, and access codes, for important websites I frequent; my e-mail, banking, investments, etc..,. If G-d forbid, something should ever happen, I would want my family to have access to my e-mail, especially since my e-mail could just as well be my auto-biography. All my e-mails are saved, and one after the other, they tell the story of my life, what I've done, what I'm doing, and what my thoughts are on different topics.

Last week, I saw an article on MSNBC that touched on this issue. Methods to inform one's online community upon your death. Online communities are a new reality for many, and its important to remember our online lives when preparing for our real world end.

A Deal To Die For

A Deal To Die For: Funeral director offers free funeral for construction work on his apartment

What will they think of next!

Family First

The Freakonomics blog is one of my favorite.  I loved the book, and enjoy reading their day to day opinions on the world.  Today, there was a random post that I thought was appropriate to this forum.

The story is about a man who forgot to honor his deathly ill daughter's simple request.  It is a sad story with an important lesson for us.  Our family needs to be our priority.  When our loved ones ask for something, we need to remember.

Life is about balancing priorities.  We need to remember that Priority #1 is our family.

Donate your used car to the Hebrew Free Burial Association

Donate your used car to the Hebrew Free Burial Association. 

Your donation will be used to ensure that every Jew receives a proper Jewish burial.

We will tow your car away for free.

IRS Tax Deduction as Allowable by Law

For more information, please call our office at (212) 239-1662 or e-mail info@hebrewfreeburial.org.

Please visit our website, www.hebrewfreeburial.org

Ed Koch's Tombstone

[Former NYC Mayor Ed Koch's] funeral service will be held at Temple Emanu-El in Manhattan... He will be buried in the nondenominational Trinity Church Cemetery in Upper Manhattan under a tombstone that quotes the last words of Daniel Pearl, the Wall Street Journal reporter beheaded in 2002 by Islamic terrorists (“My father is Jewish, my mother is Jewish, I am Jewish”) and includes the most familiar Jewish prayer, in English and Hebrew, (“Hear, O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is One”)...

(Koch Makes His Peace and Dares to Look Ahead NYTimes)

1. Mayor Koch's Judaism is extremely important to him
   
2. New York City is very important to him as well
   

It is a beautiful stone.  There is a Star of David on top.  The Shema prayer on the bottom.  But I'm fixated on Daniel Pearl's last words.  

“My father is Jewish, my mother is Jewish, I am Jewish”

We practice Judaism differently.  But we are Jews.  And we want to die as Jews.  We live our lives differently.  We have different values and beliefs.  But we believe that our Judaism is important to us.  

Mayor Koch is a staunch defender of Israel and Jewish causes.  He wears his Judaism on his sleeve.  His choice of burial place, Trinity Church Cemetery (technically a non-denominational cemetery) isn't a Jewish cemetery.  He loves New York City, and this is one of NYC's most significant cemeteries.  Despite not being in a Jewish cemetery, Mayor Koch's burial place will be a reminder to people to value their Judaism.  

He is sending a message to be proud of your Judaism.  Judaism isn't going to hold you back.  You can be a Jew and Mayor of New York City (Koch, and Bloomberg as well), or a Congressman, Senator, or Vice Presidential candidate.  Mayor Koch will be leaving an important legacy through his stone.

A person's tombstone should be a reflection of their life, and how they wish to be remembered.  Mayor Koch wants to be remembered as a Jew.  That's a lesson for all of us.

Death’s Waiting Area

Today's NYTimes featured a story about the autopsy room in a NYC morgue.  Obviously, this is an article that saddens me to read, as Jewish law generally speaking prohibits autopsies.  I am raising attention to the article for the following sentences at the beginning of the last paragraph. 

There was an overstock of death the other day, as the potter’s field was frozen and several of the bodies had been held ... They would be buried when the earth had finally thawed.

Mi K'Amcha Yisroel (who is like your nation, Israel)!  As is said regarding the post office:

Neither snow, nor rain, nor heat, nor gloom of night... 

A person should be buried as soon after they pass away.  Burials take place in blizzards, rainstorms, and freezing cold days.  Burial is important, and all measures need to be taken to ensure that someone is buried as soon after death.  Frozen ground is not an excuse for someone to remain unburied.

Leaving Stones

Why is there a custom to leave stones on top of a grave when visiting?

I always believed that the reason was solely to mark that the grave had been visited. A visual indicator that the deceased has loved ones who come and care.

However, I just came across a great blog, Jewish Graveyard Rabbit, which discussed leaving stones. They cited The Jewish Cemetery Association of Massachusetts (JCAM), which gives the original source of this custom.

The origin of this custom began long ago, when the deceased ... would be placed in the ground, covered with dirt and then large stones would be placed atop the gravesite, preventing wild animals from digging up the remains. Over time, individuals would go back to the gravesite and continue to place stones, ensuring the security of the site and as a way to build up the “memory” of the loved one.

It is important to understand that there are varied reasons for the different burial customs and traditions that we have today. Some of these may have evolved over time. Some may come from a religious legal tradition and others may have originated from a practical need. Either way, our customs and traditions are important, and its worthwhile to learn and understand not only the laws, customs, and traditions, but the reasons behind them as well.

Find A Funeral Home You Can Trust

TRENTON -- A former New Jersey funeral director connected to a scheme to harvest body parts from corpses has admitted his role in the macabre ring. Stephen Finley pleaded guilty Tuesday to a single count of disturbing/desecrating human remains.

(http://www.northjersey.com/breakingnews/bodyparts020309.html)

What lessons can we learn from this story?

The first is the importance of finding a reputable funeral home. It is important to research a funeral home prior to contracting them and ensuring they're respectable. There are many reputable funeral homes and it is important to find one who you can trust when needed.

Secondly, when contracting with a funeral home, don't assume anything. Make sure your desires and request, what you want and what you don't want, are explicitly clear. Doing so can prevent mistakes from occurring.