Where's Your Password

Several years ago, YAHOO came under scrutiny for not giving parents access to their deceased son's e-mail. Their son, a United States soldier, was killed in Iraq, and they hoped to retrieve his e-mails. YAHOO argued that giving the parents access would be in violation of their privacy policy. After negotiations, the parents eventually received access to their son's e-mails.

When putting together documents for my safety deposit box, this story came to mind. I decided to include a document with my user names, passwords, and access codes, for important websites I frequent; my e-mail, banking, investments, etc..,. If G-d forbid, something should ever happen, I would want my family to have access to my e-mail, especially since my e-mail could just as well be my auto-biography. All my e-mails are saved, and one after the other, they tell the story of my life, what I've done, what I'm doing, and what my thoughts are on different topics.

Last week, I saw an article on MSNBC that touched on this issue. Methods to inform one's online community upon your death. Online communities are a new reality for many, and its important to remember our online lives when preparing for our real world end.

A Deal To Die For

A Deal To Die For: Funeral director offers free funeral for construction work on his apartment

What will they think of next!

Family First

The Freakonomics blog is one of my favorite.  I loved the book, and enjoy reading their day to day opinions on the world.  Today, there was a random post that I thought was appropriate to this forum.

The story is about a man who forgot to honor his deathly ill daughter's simple request.  It is a sad story with an important lesson for us.  Our family needs to be our priority.  When our loved ones ask for something, we need to remember.

Life is about balancing priorities.  We need to remember that Priority #1 is our family.

Donate your used car to the Hebrew Free Burial Association

Donate your used car to the Hebrew Free Burial Association. 

Your donation will be used to ensure that every Jew receives a proper Jewish burial.

We will tow your car away for free.

IRS Tax Deduction as Allowable by Law

For more information, please call our office at (212) 239-1662 or e-mail info@hebrewfreeburial.org.

Please visit our website, www.hebrewfreeburial.org

Ed Koch's Tombstone

[Former NYC Mayor Ed Koch's] funeral service will be held at Temple Emanu-El in Manhattan... He will be buried in the nondenominational Trinity Church Cemetery in Upper Manhattan under a tombstone that quotes the last words of Daniel Pearl, the Wall Street Journal reporter beheaded in 2002 by Islamic terrorists (“My father is Jewish, my mother is Jewish, I am Jewish”) and includes the most familiar Jewish prayer, in English and Hebrew, (“Hear, O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is One”)...

(Koch Makes His Peace and Dares to Look Ahead NYTimes)

1. Mayor Koch's Judaism is extremely important to him
   
2. New York City is very important to him as well
   

It is a beautiful stone.  There is a Star of David on top.  The Shema prayer on the bottom.  But I'm fixated on Daniel Pearl's last words.  

“My father is Jewish, my mother is Jewish, I am Jewish”

We practice Judaism differently.  But we are Jews.  And we want to die as Jews.  We live our lives differently.  We have different values and beliefs.  But we believe that our Judaism is important to us.  

Mayor Koch is a staunch defender of Israel and Jewish causes.  He wears his Judaism on his sleeve.  His choice of burial place, Trinity Church Cemetery (technically a non-denominational cemetery) isn't a Jewish cemetery.  He loves New York City, and this is one of NYC's most significant cemeteries.  Despite not being in a Jewish cemetery, Mayor Koch's burial place will be a reminder to people to value their Judaism.  

He is sending a message to be proud of your Judaism.  Judaism isn't going to hold you back.  You can be a Jew and Mayor of New York City (Koch, and Bloomberg as well), or a Congressman, Senator, or Vice Presidential candidate.  Mayor Koch will be leaving an important legacy through his stone.

A person's tombstone should be a reflection of their life, and how they wish to be remembered.  Mayor Koch wants to be remembered as a Jew.  That's a lesson for all of us.

Death’s Waiting Area

Today's NYTimes featured a story about the autopsy room in a NYC morgue.  Obviously, this is an article that saddens me to read, as Jewish law generally speaking prohibits autopsies.  I am raising attention to the article for the following sentences at the beginning of the last paragraph. 

There was an overstock of death the other day, as the potter’s field was frozen and several of the bodies had been held ... They would be buried when the earth had finally thawed.

Mi K'Amcha Yisroel (who is like your nation, Israel)!  As is said regarding the post office:

Neither snow, nor rain, nor heat, nor gloom of night... 

A person should be buried as soon after they pass away.  Burials take place in blizzards, rainstorms, and freezing cold days.  Burial is important, and all measures need to be taken to ensure that someone is buried as soon after death.  Frozen ground is not an excuse for someone to remain unburied.

Leaving Stones

Why is there a custom to leave stones on top of a grave when visiting?

I always believed that the reason was solely to mark that the grave had been visited. A visual indicator that the deceased has loved ones who come and care.

However, I just came across a great blog, Jewish Graveyard Rabbit, which discussed leaving stones. They cited The Jewish Cemetery Association of Massachusetts (JCAM), which gives the original source of this custom.

The origin of this custom began long ago, when the deceased ... would be placed in the ground, covered with dirt and then large stones would be placed atop the gravesite, preventing wild animals from digging up the remains. Over time, individuals would go back to the gravesite and continue to place stones, ensuring the security of the site and as a way to build up the “memory” of the loved one.

It is important to understand that there are varied reasons for the different burial customs and traditions that we have today. Some of these may have evolved over time. Some may come from a religious legal tradition and others may have originated from a practical need. Either way, our customs and traditions are important, and its worthwhile to learn and understand not only the laws, customs, and traditions, but the reasons behind them as well.