Death’s Waiting Area

Today's NYTimes featured a story about the autopsy room in a NYC morgue.  Obviously, this is an article that saddens me to read, as Jewish law generally speaking prohibits autopsies.  I am raising attention to the article for the following sentences at the beginning of the last paragraph. 

There was an overstock of death the other day, as the potter’s field was frozen and several of the bodies had been held ... They would be buried when the earth had finally thawed.

Mi K'Amcha Yisroel (who is like your nation, Israel)!  As is said regarding the post office:

Neither snow, nor rain, nor heat, nor gloom of night... 

A person should be buried as soon after they pass away.  Burials take place in blizzards, rainstorms, and freezing cold days.  Burial is important, and all measures need to be taken to ensure that someone is buried as soon after death.  Frozen ground is not an excuse for someone to remain unburied.

Leaving Stones

Why is there a custom to leave stones on top of a grave when visiting?

I always believed that the reason was solely to mark that the grave had been visited. A visual indicator that the deceased has loved ones who come and care.

However, I just came across a great blog, Jewish Graveyard Rabbit, which discussed leaving stones. They cited The Jewish Cemetery Association of Massachusetts (JCAM), which gives the original source of this custom.

The origin of this custom began long ago, when the deceased ... would be placed in the ground, covered with dirt and then large stones would be placed atop the gravesite, preventing wild animals from digging up the remains. Over time, individuals would go back to the gravesite and continue to place stones, ensuring the security of the site and as a way to build up the “memory” of the loved one.

It is important to understand that there are varied reasons for the different burial customs and traditions that we have today. Some of these may have evolved over time. Some may come from a religious legal tradition and others may have originated from a practical need. Either way, our customs and traditions are important, and its worthwhile to learn and understand not only the laws, customs, and traditions, but the reasons behind them as well.

Find A Funeral Home You Can Trust

TRENTON -- A former New Jersey funeral director connected to a scheme to harvest body parts from corpses has admitted his role in the macabre ring. Stephen Finley pleaded guilty Tuesday to a single count of disturbing/desecrating human remains.

(http://www.northjersey.com/breakingnews/bodyparts020309.html)

What lessons can we learn from this story?

The first is the importance of finding a reputable funeral home. It is important to research a funeral home prior to contracting them and ensuring they're respectable. There are many reputable funeral homes and it is important to find one who you can trust when needed.

Secondly, when contracting with a funeral home, don't assume anything. Make sure your desires and request, what you want and what you don't want, are explicitly clear. Doing so can prevent mistakes from occurring.

Can You Hear Me Now?

Recently, MSNBC reported on a trend of people being buried with their cell phones and BlackBerrys.  My initial thought was that individuals felt that doing so would give them a lifeline, in the event that they weren't really dead.  However, the article emphasized that the real reason people are choosing to be buried with their phones was because of their personal attachment to them.  Or for loved ones to be able to leave voicemails for the deceased.

I believe that there are two problems with this phenomenon:

1) As a society, we have unhealthy relationships with our cell phones

2) We are misguided in our understanding of what consists a proper funeral and burial.

I'll leave it to others to debate problem #1.  This isn't the appropriate forum.  Here's my take on Problem #2.

When someone dies, the relationship between body and soul ceases to exist.  The body has holiness and is to be respected and treated appropriately, but the person as he or she was known is no longer.  Death is not a time to try and maintain the living relationship.  That is why we don't bury the deceased in street clothing, we don't use fancy coffins, or embellishments.  

It is sad that many people have a misguided understanding of death.  That being said, it is very important to be sensitive to their needs and concerns, and in no way to hurt or cause additional pain to the loved one's family.  But there needs to be appropriate education, teaching what is right and wrong.

Interview on JM in the AM

This morning I was interviewed by Nachum Segal on JM in the AM, a popular morning radio show broadcast in the tri-state area, as well as on the web.  

As this week is Parshas Chayei Sara, I was talking about how Avraham's efforts to purchase a burial place for Sara set a precedent for the importance of Jewish burials.  A precedent that the Hebrew Free Burial Association has been following for the past 120 years.  Our commitment to Chesed Shel Emes is the same today as it was 120 years ago, and as it was with Avraham.

To hear the interview, please click here.

Green Funerals

With a new emphasis on environmental issues, it was only a matter of time that the focus would turn to funerals.  Among the criteria for "Green Funerals" are:

"Un-embalmed remains are put directly into the ground, either shrouded in cloth or buried in natural caskets made of biodegradable materials, such as ... pine." (NPR - Burials and Cemeteries Go Green)

In other words, a "green funeral" is a traditional Jewish burial.  The coffins traditionally used in a Jewish funeral are made out of pine wood.  In fact, they are built with wooden nails; no metal is used.  The deceased is dressed in plain burial shrouds.

The reason for simplicity in burial is because Judaism wants decomposition to take place.  Man was fashioned from dust and should be returned to dust.  The burial procedure is a reminder that our bodies are not ours forever, they are a gift on loan from the A-mighty.

But for now, when someone asks you about "going green" you can tell them that your funeral will be green, as Judaism has been practicing for thousands of years.

The Cemetery Is Falling

As first reported in the Yorkshire Evening Post and subsequently picked up by The Yeshiva World, Hill Top Cemetery in Leeds, UK has been ordered closed for safety concerns.

This is a sad, and apparantly unavoidable situation.  Is anyone aware of anything similar occuring in the past?