Death’s Waiting Area

Today's NYTimes featured a story about the autopsy room in a NYC morgue.  Obviously, this is an article that saddens me to read, as Jewish law generally speaking prohibits autopsies.  I am raising attention to the article for the following sentences at the beginning of the last paragraph. 

There was an overstock of death the other day, as the potter’s field was frozen and several of the bodies had been held ... They would be buried when the earth had finally thawed.

Mi K'Amcha Yisroel (who is like your nation, Israel)!  As is said regarding the post office:

Neither snow, nor rain, nor heat, nor gloom of night... 

A person should be buried as soon after they pass away.  Burials take place in blizzards, rainstorms, and freezing cold days.  Burial is important, and all measures need to be taken to ensure that someone is buried as soon after death.  Frozen ground is not an excuse for someone to remain unburied.

Leaving Stones

Why is there a custom to leave stones on top of a grave when visiting?

I always believed that the reason was solely to mark that the grave had been visited. A visual indicator that the deceased has loved ones who come and care.

However, I just came across a great blog, Jewish Graveyard Rabbit, which discussed leaving stones. They cited The Jewish Cemetery Association of Massachusetts (JCAM), which gives the original source of this custom.

The origin of this custom began long ago, when the deceased ... would be placed in the ground, covered with dirt and then large stones would be placed atop the gravesite, preventing wild animals from digging up the remains. Over time, individuals would go back to the gravesite and continue to place stones, ensuring the security of the site and as a way to build up the “memory” of the loved one.

It is important to understand that there are varied reasons for the different burial customs and traditions that we have today. Some of these may have evolved over time. Some may come from a religious legal tradition and others may have originated from a practical need. Either way, our customs and traditions are important, and its worthwhile to learn and understand not only the laws, customs, and traditions, but the reasons behind them as well.

Find A Funeral Home You Can Trust

TRENTON -- A former New Jersey funeral director connected to a scheme to harvest body parts from corpses has admitted his role in the macabre ring. Stephen Finley pleaded guilty Tuesday to a single count of disturbing/desecrating human remains.

(http://www.northjersey.com/breakingnews/bodyparts020309.html)

What lessons can we learn from this story?

The first is the importance of finding a reputable funeral home. It is important to research a funeral home prior to contracting them and ensuring they're respectable. There are many reputable funeral homes and it is important to find one who you can trust when needed.

Secondly, when contracting with a funeral home, don't assume anything. Make sure your desires and request, what you want and what you don't want, are explicitly clear. Doing so can prevent mistakes from occurring.